Snow keeps an eye on me when I am ill.

I’ve been off Facebook for a week. I don’t miss it except when I feel compelled to write. There is something in me that needs to share words, even if it’s just with the universe.

Since I was last here, most of my waking hours have been occupied by health professionals and my cat, Snow. She came to me as a rescue the first week of December 2023 with a long list of ailments. I spent hours researching feline dietary needs because she gets bored with her food every 10 days or so.

I am currently being evaluated for Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. It is the final great umbrella under which all my symptoms fit. Outlook is pretty bleak since there is no cure for it. I have given up more and more mobility with each passing month. The fatigue at times is crushing. I now have more good days than bad ones.

It’s hard to believe I once built and manicured a flower bed at the corner of the front lawn. Fortunately the last things I planted were irises. They hold their own against the encroaching Bermuda grass. Maybe every 8-12 weeks I feel good enough to spend a few minutes weeding. The ajuga and oxalis thrive in the spring and, for a little while, it actually looks like a tended spot.

So far January has been a month of recovering from Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I am chafing at that. But allowing frustration to build is counter productive and expends precious energy. So I am down to basics, doing what I can when I can and filling my head and heart with pretty things, funny things, peaceful things. Some of these come in the form of my cat. Sometimes I just look at her and think, You are so beautiful. I can’t believe someone threw you away. I want your final years to be so full of love you don’t remember the bad times.

And sometimes I look at myself and say the same thing. While I don’t quite believe it, I think it helps me to ponder it. Amazing how loving a pet reflects the love back on yourself.