Pablo’s first portrait – by his new mom.

My post will be short today. Most of my observations simply seem too brutal to record.

Rachel had the day off yesterday and I signed up for extra work, so she had the bulk of Pablo’s care. In my trips up and down the stairs, I could see evidence of her determined attempts to get Pablo to eat or drink. It has been odd, seeing bowls of lamb, beef, egg, kibble all about the house, untouched.

Last night after work I went to a movie with a dear friend, who has been reading my blog daily. She told me how much she appreciated my writing, the wonder of being so present and available to Pablo.

I was a little surprised but very happy; I actually began these posts because I had nowhere to go with my sadness, except to write about it. The people who are in sympathy with me were doing their best to be about the business of their day. I expect we will come together with it all very soon.

I am leaving shortly to check Elijah out of school early and take him to his mom’s place of work. I was struck with the timing of it, how easy Pablo made it for us by hanging on until Friday, so Elijah could have the weekend to process and be near his mom.

In the meantime, I am trying to be about the business of my day, and to stay in the present moment. And that is enough for now.